The Legend of 69ville:

Many moons ago... when buffalo still roamed the land... it was 1992... I had just turned 21 (well it had been five months. It was June or late May) one of my fraternity brothers and I were down town. Perhaps we should take a moment to describe downtown. This was in my College days at Clemson University in upstate South Carolina. In a town of 8,000 year 'round, 17,000 students there when school is in session, Clemson has 27 bars in it's city limits. (Well, at least they did when I was going to school) Picture a small little sleepy college town in the middle of nowhere that has a thriving night life if you're in to loud music, crowed rooms, and cigarette smoke. Many fine things happened that night to numerous and long to list here. Quite possibly one of my finest nights. The bar we ended up finishing the night in is called Tiger Town Tavern, "TTT" or "triple T" for short. One of the last tunes this bar plays, and they have a whole set list about the last half hour or so, before they close at 2AM is the buffet tune that we all know and love. Mike and I were sitting in the back in a booth very drunk, sitting because standing just wasn't all it was cracked up to be, acting really stupid and being extremely sexist as all men who are truly gentle at heart tend to do when they get away from trier normal womenfolk and get rip roaring drunk. Not that Jimmy has every needed any help with his vocals, but we had been doing 'alternative' lyrics to everything else that night and decided that just because he is the master at drinking music is no reason to deprive him of our creativity. So we changed the words a little.... "Wasted away in 69ville," did indeed brings some powerful laughter. The lights came on in TTT signaling the end of the evening; a truly horrifying light. We bum a ride from some girl we met and get home, well I did, I think Mike and the girl made other plans. "I stumble into the trailer at school that I was living in. What I really mean is I rolled out of the car, and crawled up those big rough cement steps. I somehow managed to become upright before attempting to open the already unlocked door with my key that was a copy of a copy of a copy. You have to know about our door and this key that I had to understand what a feat this was, it was difficult even sober to get that thing unlocked. My roommate was logged in (CatsEye who has long since dropped off the net) and was laughing at me from inside. He came to the door and pulled it open rapidly. You can imagine my surprise as the door rips open first taking my hand that was tightly gripped around the door handle in anger into the living room, then my arm, then my shoulders, then the rest of me. I would of been very pissed if I hadn't been laughing so hard. Somehow I got it into my head after watching Barry talk to a few people for a while that I needed to get on this bbs thing, no matter what my present condition. I somehow talk Barry into teaching me how to log on. We telneted... asked for a new login... and when it asked me for a handle the only thing left in my poor drunken head after an excellent night was...



Drew Dowling